Keep on Walking
by sutekiaozora
Summary: When Serena had been orphaned thanks to the Earl and his Akuma, Allen made it his duty to protect the girl back at the Order. Unfortunately for her, Allen's kind words combined with the girl's recent loss soon took its toll on her battered heart. Allen x OC. One-shot. Lemon.


Keep on Walking

The world truly is a terribly cruel place to be. No matter how desperate you are, how deeply the pain engulfs your very soul, it just keeps on turning. The world doesn't care how much you cry, how much you beg and plead just for the smallest sliver of happiness. It couldn't care less. And it just keeps on turning, even when you can't take it anymore. Around it spins and spins and spins and…

* * *

Morning. At least, I thought it was. The days and nights seemed to become one in the winter months. I weakly lifted a finger to pull back my curtain just to confirm my fear. Daylight. Which meant another day to drag my feet through.

Life had never been particularly easy for me - not as far as I can remember, anyway. My mother died during childbirth and my father had never forgiven me for that. He always blamed me for her death and so deeply wished that it was me instead of her. I don't blame him. I hate myself for it, too. My father only ever seemed to have two emotions: pain and anger. It hurt me to see him so deeply saddened about my mother's fate but, of course, I couldn't blame him. If it weren't for me…  
_  
Rat-tatt-ta-ta-tatt!_

An energetic knock at my quarters' door snapped me back to reality. I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.  
"It's open."  
Allen Walker. Either the exact thing I wanted to see or the worst person to be around right now. I wasn't completely sure just yet. My stomach filled with butterflies the moment I gazed upon him – no surprise there. His snow white locks complemented his fair skin beautifully, a gentle smile spread across his face. I shot up, suddenly wide awake, almost forgetting just whose presence I was in and the state of my morning grogginess.  
"Good morning," he chuckled. My puffy eyes and swollen lips certainly were no laughing matter!  
"M-morning…" I mumbled in response, trying to act cool despite the blatant blush spreading across my cheeks. He exhaled through his nose in an amused fashion as I ran my fingers through the bird's nest atop my head, trying to tame the beast that was my wild bedhead.  
"You ready to go grab some food, sleepyhead? I've been waiting for you to hurry and wake up all morning. I'm starving!" He whined, jokingly, of course. Dammit, even the slightest thing he said or did threw my heart into a flutter.  
"Oh, um, you didn't have to wait for me..." I muttered quietly, trailing off. I was ecstatic he had, don't get me wrong, but why would he bother? He's Allen and I'm just... Well, me. Just one finder among many. Definitely nobody important whatsoever. I could be replaced by anyone without a second thought, after all. At least, that's how it seemed. Finders are just ordinary humans, nothing special. Seemed about right. I never expected to be special.

* * *

It was Allen who found me the night my father was killed. We weren't exactly on the best of terms, my father and I, but I never wanted anything bad to happen to him. I had tried my best to be a good daughter but, at the end of the day, there was nothing I could do to save him from the Akuma. I loved to act like I didn't need any help taking care of myself; that I was strong and I could fight anything or anyone if I had to. The sad reality was that I was weak. I couldn't do a thing but stand there and watch. I couldn't even cry for help. In a way, I was almost relieved knowing that I would be next. That everything would soon all be over. That I'd no longer have to face reality or wake up to this cruel world. I'd be peaceful.

Allen was too late to save my father but managed to slay the Akuma before it could do any more damage. It was only a Level 1, so it was all over in a matter of seconds. I don't think I'd ever felt as weak in my life as I did at that very moment. He made it look so easy. Just a few moments earlier and my father would have still been here. I didn't speak that night. All I wanted was to fall asleep and never have to wake up again. I felt completely empty. Unable to even shed tears despite that I had just been orphaned. Lost.

Allen stayed with me for the next few days after leaving me be to come to terms with everything on that night. He never left my side for more than a few minutes at a time, always reluctant when he had to leave for even those short periods. I think he must have been worried about me. I wanted to lash out and call him patronising for being so protective over me as a sixteen-year-old, but he was nothing but kind to me and, honestly, it was… nice. After so many years with a father who desperately wished I hadn't been born, it made me feel wanted. I never knew it could be such a warm feeling. A feeling I'd never known.

Unfortunately for me, those feelings only escalated from that point onward. I came to learn very quickly that I wasn't anything more than yet another rescued civilian from yet another mission. The one person who'd ever shown me kindness and compassion showed that same level of care and concern to everyone he met. I know it's selfish to want to be the only one receiving that attention, but I suppose I was always naïve. I fell for him and fell hard. And, God, did it hurt when I realised I was "just a friend". I mean, he's never actually said that, but… It seems quite obvious. I need to protect myself. I can't get close to someone else just to have my heart shattered. Once is quite enough.

* * *

"Well, are you gonna get dressed or do you plan to stay in your pyjamas all day?"  
Shit. I fell into a daydream again.  
"I, uh, I'll meet you in the canteen. Give me ten minutes, okay?" I snapped myself out of it and Allen nodded, closing the door behind him with that signature smile of his. That signature smile that wrenched my heart every time. I flopped backwards onto my pillow with a sigh, resuming my staring contest with the ceiling. Even if it was Allen, I didn't have the energy to force myself out of bed to face another day. Not right away, at least. I just needed another five minutes. Just… five more…

My eyes opened slowly, meeting the clock. Evening… Evening!? How did I manage to sleep so late? I rubbed my temples gently, sitting myself up. As I lifted my upper body, I felt a weight on my thighs. My stomach and heart leapt simultaneously, blood rushing to fill my face almost instantaneously. Allen's head was resting on my legs – he was sleeping quietly. He'd pulled up a chair, half lay on me and fallen asleep. What is even happening right now!? Is this reality, or am I still asleep?  
I felt my heart pounding hard through my chest – it actually hurt a little it was beating so ferociously. It was a little embarrassing seeing his flawless face sleeping gently, knowing how inelegant I looked when I slept. I couldn't believe this was happening. Had he meant to lie there, or was it an accident? Is this some kind of cruel joke? Too distracted by his beauty, I dismissed the doubts in my mind.

Unwittingly, I reached my hand out to stroke the strands of hair from his face, my fingers slowly moving from his hair to his scar, tracing it lightly. Being in this trance-like state, it was as though all the fear I'd previously had of touching him was vanquished, just for these few seconds. I cupped his face gently, unable to hold back at this point. It's cheesy but I'd wanted this since the very moment we met. I don't know what it was about him that got to me so easily, having been cold and uninterested in boys all these years (well, toward people in general). There was something different about him. I loved it and I hated it, because it hurt knowing I had become vulnerable. I had let down every barrier I'd worked so hard to build up and I knew what was coming next. But right now, I didn't care about that. He was here with me now and that's all that mattered to me.

Allen began stirring, softly grunting and fluttering his eyes open. He smiled at me, sleepily. Fuck, how could any one person be so damn cute? As he came to, I noticed a light pink shade spread across his cheeks. He glanced away slightly, looking almost flustered. Oh, God. I knew he hadn't meant to sleep here. He's embarrassed. Or…

I realised how close our faces were at that moment. We couldn't have been more than a couple of inches apart from each other, noses almost touching. Shit, I did something creepy. He hates me. I should've just locked my door. Oh God.  
"Serena, I-I—" He began stammering, looking more flustered by the second.  
"I am so sorry!" I blurted, interrupting him. Why was I apologising again?  
"No, no! I should be apologising, I didn't mean... I wasn't watching you or anything weird like that!"  
That hadn't even crossed my mind. Of course he wouldn't be watching me. Why would he? Not that I'd hate that, don't get me wrong.  
"I'm sorry, I should've come down for breakfast earlier. I don't know how I managed to sleep for so long… I'm really sorry for making you wait for nothing." I glanced away. I couldn't look at that face of his without my own turning an unflattering crimson shade. Allen seemed to regain his composure a lot quicker than I had been able to.  
"I didn't mean to intrude, I just…" He paused a moment, returning his gaze to me. "I heard you crying. I was worried about you, so I thought I'd stay with you a while to make sure you were okay. I didn't mean to fall asleep or overstay my welcome or anything—"  
"You didn't overstay at all!" I quickly replied, desperate not to let him think I wasn't happy with him being here. "I mean, you're always welcome here. I'm not sure I'm very good company when sleeping but…" I chuckled softly at myself, trailing off a little. Allen responded with an almost sympathetic smile. There was an awkward pause between the two of us for a moment where neither of us was sure what to say or do next. I knew what I _wanted_ to do next but that was out of the question.  
"Allen, I—"  
"There's something I—"  
We spoke over each other, starting and stopping at the same time. Such a long silence and we had to start speaking at the same time as each other?  
"Sorry, you go first." I allowed Allen his words before mine, a little uncomfortable now that my brain had been given time to process just what I was about to confess to.  
"Serena," he began, pausing to search for his words. Just hearing him say my name gave me butterflies. Urgh, I'm so lame! "There's… something I've had on my mind for a while now that I've been wanting to talk about." Great. He must know I like – no, not like, _love_ – him and he wants to let me down easy before I get too attached. Well, it's a little late for that one…  
"What's wrong?" I quizzed with feigned curiosity, desperate not to hear the words I knew were coming.  
"It's actually about you." Oh, God, here it comes. I don't think I'm ready for this. I can't do this. "Serena, I—"

"I know." I interrupted, unable to stand it any more. "I know you're going to tell me that you only see me as a friend and that you hope I'll still want to be your friend even after you break my heart. I'm sorry, okay? I know this is inconvenient for you and I know I'm being selfish with my feelings but just for once, Allen, I really wanted to believe that I meant something to somebody. You've been so kind to me, ever since the day you brought me here, and it was impossible for me not to fall for you. I hate myself for it and I'll probably never forgive myself for letting down these walls I spent so long fortifying in my heart because I'm going to be destroyed once more by someone I love and I just don't know if I can take that again." I panted lightly, trying to regain my breath after letting go of my deep-seated emotions for what was probably the first time in my life. I didn't care any more. It was over before it even began. I rested my lifeless head across the white-haired boy's lap, disregarding what I had just admitted to. Unexpectedly, I felt a soft hand graze against my cheek, moving the mahogany strands behind my ear. I glanced up weakly to meet his gaze. He was smiling, like he always was. Except this time I could make out a slight watering in his narrowed eyes. Was he… crying?

He didn't say anything. Just closed his eyes and touched his forehead against mine, resting his free arm across my waist. I waited a few seconds before sitting upright and wrapping my arms tightly around him, my face buried in the dip of his neck. I felt my eyes burn as the tears began to well up. We stayed in this position for what seemed like hours (of course, it was only a couple of minutes) until he finally broke the silence.  
"Now, if you'd have just let me finish," he half-joked. "You'd know that I felt the same way about you."  
My heart leapt into my throat at his words, breathing suddenly heavier and louder and I could feel my face warm up rapidly. I wanted to say something but my brain was too busy trying to process that last statement of Allen's. I stammered a little, not really able to form any coherent words, then gave in to my emotions and let the tears flow.  
"I honestly wish you could see yourself the way that I see you. You're so strong, brave, persistent. Even when you feel like you have no reason to carry on, you never stop walking. I really admire that about you. You never give up, despite how desperately you want to." It was at that moment I realised Allen felt that way because he saw himself in me. He would always talk about how Mana told him never to stop walking, no matter what. I felt an overwhelming sense of relief after hearing those words. I nuzzled my face into his neck further, squeezing him tighter. I felt his warm breath against my cheek, his lips dangerously close to my face. I couldn't resist any longer. Knowing for sure that he felt the same way about me as I felt for him, I couldn't stand not touching him any longer.

I moved my head up slowly, leaning backwards so that the tips of our noses were just barely touching. I glanced from eye to eye, enchanted by those sparkling grey orbs of his, only breaking my gaze to look at his lips, wanting so desperately to kiss him and yet still being afraid to do so. Involuntarily, my head began to tilt ever so slowly to one side as we both begun leaning in closer to each other. When our lips finally met, it was like every fibre of my being was cheering for me. I felt a sensation I'd never experienced before; a rush throughout my whole body that took over me and washed away any doubts and fears I'd previously had. A new, more confident girl had been born from the empty husk I once was.

I felt Allen relax into the kiss more, too, as if on the exact same emotional roller coaster as I. He moved his middle and ring fingers to rest beneath my jaw more firmly, tilting my head upward and pulling me deeper into the kiss. I felt my breathing become unsteady as we relaxed more into each other, our tender kisses becoming more passionate and impatient. A rush of energy flowed through me, the likes of which I'd never felt before. A soft, wet bud ran gently over my bottom lip, pleading for entrance. I created a small gap between my lips for him to use, clearly too small as he ran his hand roughly from my chin around the back of my neck, pulling me into him. The sudden movement elicited a soft gasp from me, allowing him the entrance he so desperately wanted. My entire body heated up, head to toe, heart racing erratically as our tongues intertwined. I reached both arms behind his head and gently pulled him towards me, lying backwards onto the bed and bringing the white-haired with me.

As he posed himself atop my small frame, his lips left mine and he began trailing delicate kisses along my neck, down my collarbone and pausing at my chest. I was still fully clothed and that seemed to prove problematic to Allen. Hell, it proved problematic to me right now! He glanced upward to meet my gaze, his demeanour entirely flipped from his usual self. His hair seemed to fall differently around his face and his eyes... Oh, God. Had he always had such sexual prowess? I felt as though I'd melted beneath him the moment he looked at me.

I swallowed hard and shakily nodded at him to give him the go-ahead. He understood his cue and almost immediately lifted my shirt over my head, desperate to reveal the skin underneath. Since I had been in pyjamas all day, having slept the majority of it, I hadn't been wearing a bra. This hadn't occurred to me until I felt the gentle grazing of his teeth around one now hardened nipple. I gasped in response, just about stifling a moan as my back arched. It was as though my body was begging for more without the permission of my mind. Allen took that as his invitation and began gently tracing his fingers over the other pink bud, continuing with the mouth work on the first. With his free hand, he gently slid his fingers down my torso, taking his time to reach his destination. He removed his lips from my warm breast, much to my dismay, smiling that perfect smile of his then proceeding to kiss my lips softly. Despite the salacious behaviour we'd been partaking in, it was the gentlest kiss that sat in my chest. I loved him so much it ached.

He returned his lips to my neck, gently prying open my legs to stroke me through my clothes. A quiet whimper left me as he caressed my most sensitive area. Even through two layers, it still felt so good.  
"A-Allen…" I softly called his name, shallowly breathing. He slotted his face next to mine so that his warm breath graced my ear. He moaned sweetly as his fingers movements gradually increased. Just hearing his calls drove me crazy. I wanted him. I wanted him bad.  
"Mmmh-!" I clasped my hand over my mouth, embarrassed by the mewls that were coming from me. Allen swept the hand from my mouth, placing it on his right hip. He smiled lustfully.  
"You're so cute. Let me hear your voice…" I rolled my head backwards onto the pillow and allowed the boy his wish. My fingers traced along the elder's hip bone, patiently moving ever closer to his arousal. His human hand had slipped into my pants by now and were teasing at my underwear. God, this is torture. I tugged at his belt, leaving him to deal with the bottom half while I removed his shirt. I blushed a little at the sight of his gorgeously toned body, unable to focus on anything else. I ran my hands from his abdomen up to his neck – the latter of which being touched causing him some apparent pleasure. Both of my hands returned to the boy's hips, teasing at the elastic of his boxers. Unbeknownst to me, Allen had slipped off my pyjama bottoms and was now working at my own underwear. He ground his hips against mine, rubbing his length up against me, driving me to the brink of insanity.  
"Allen… Ahn... nngh.. I n-need you…"

Allen kissed my forehead gently as he lowered my final layer. His middle finger proceeded to tease my clit as his eyes fixated on me, observing my expressions, my reactions. Gradually, he built up the heat – he slowly ran the digit over my entrance, wetting every inch of me. He slipped his finger inside me, exploring every inch of me. I was finding it increasingly difficult to compose myself the more he touched me. A second finger was added, causing me to wince slightly at the pain. It concerned me slightly that just two fingers hurt when I knew what to expect later… The pleasure soon overwhelmed me, blocking out any painful sensations. I couldn't even attempt to contain my sounds any more.  
"Ahh.. Haa, ahhn, Alle-!" Shit. I was already so close. Allen must have realised this and slowed down, specifically to torment me even further. "Allen, please… haa.." I quickly removed the boy's boxers and firmly grasped his throbbing member. Revenge.  
"W-woah, wh.. What are you.. Haaah!" The sultry expression he'd sported was quickly replaced with one of submission to sheer pleasure. I wasn't entirely confident doing this, since it was my first time, but I wanted to make him happy. I want to learn everything about him. I want to know every scar, every curve and every edge. Because I love him.  
"S-Sere... nngh…" I felt his cock tensing harder and decided to play with him a little.  
"Uh-uh, not yet." I released my grasp on him. He panted hard, furrowing his brow at me, partially in confusion and partially in irritation. I sat up so my legs were either side of his, arms wrapped around his neck to support my weight. Before I managed any more words, Allen grabbed me and hugged me hard, kissing my neck lightly. I blushed a little, taken by surprise. He leant his head against mine again, so we were nose-to-nose, and looked me in the eyes.  
"You sure you're ready for this?" He looked genuinely concerned. I smiled to reassure him and nodded slowly.  
"I'm ready."  
Allen proceeded to lie me down gently on my back and pushed my legs either side of his. I swallowed nervously, breathing erratic. He looked nervous too.  
"Tell me if it hurts, okay?"  
"I will."

We each took a deep breath and I prepared myself for what came next. The sensation of his head sliding up against my slit was wonderful in itself. Slowly and gently, Allen began slipping himself inside me. I clenched my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut, breathing heavily through my nose, trying to endure the pain. The boy withdrew himself with a concerned look.  
"I'm okay. Keep going."  
He looked unsure, but he complied with my wishes. I knew that, once we had gotten through the first few minutes of pain, we could truly embrace each other and move as one. Allen made a second attempt at moving inside me, this time slightly less painful. After a minute or two, the hard part was over and we could be together.  
"Haa…. Ahhnn—!" The pain instantly turned into pleasure in that moment. It was beyond anything we'd done to prepare. This sensation was intense; heating, dizzying. It was as though every atom in my body had become ten times lighter. I pulled Allen's hips in closer to me, wanting him to fill every inch of me. He thrust slowly but deeply, savouring every moment. Our harmonious moans filling the air, neither of us able to contain it any longer. It was a little awkward at first, trying to sync our rhythms up, but we quickly learned and adapted to each other's bodies. Panting and sighing filled the air, sweat sticking to both of our bodies as we worked on each other. The movement became gradually faster, breathing became heavier, moaning became louder.  
"Ahn.. Nnh.. M-More.. Please, ahh— haahh!"  
"Nnngh, haa.. Serena… Ahhnn..." The muscles in Allen's entire body seemed to swell. Dear God, he is the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. The pleasure on his face, the sweat dripping down his brow and into his hair… his intoxicating, husky grunting..  
"A-Allen.. I'm close…" I felt my stomach beginning to knot and the heat rise throughout my body. "Allen.. Haa.. Ahh, I'm gonna… gonna co—oh, God, Allen! Ahhhnn-!" I cried out as I reached my climax, the white-haired pounding into me hard, close to his limit, too.  
"Ohh, fuck, yes… Ahh, God, I'm coming!" A warm liquid filled my insides as the boy cried out in ecstasy, sheer pleasure coursing through both our veins.

After lying intertwined a while, sweat soaked and naked, we soon recovered our energy and lay side-by-side. I rolled onto my side to rest my head on my lover's chest, finally being able to hold him after years of holding back. Maybe life isn't as cruel as I had always believed it to be. Or perhaps it is, and these things aren't permanent. Perhaps happiness is only fleeting so that life can feed off your misery when you lose what you love. But right now, none of that matters. In this moment, I'm happy.

The road won't always be an easy one, but you must keep on walking. No matter what.

* * *

_A/N: First official fic! I am the worst for making it customised to myself but hey, I'm not even sorry! It has been a very, very long time since I've done any amount of creative writing. I'm not used to reading/writing females in lemons as a yaoi fan but hopefully I didn't do too terribly! Constructive criticism welcome and I'd really appreciate it if you left a review! As a new(?) writer, I can't see my own flaws just yet. I'd love to be able to improve. :D Thanks for reading! -Serena_


End file.
